SOS...

Almost a year and a half ago I started on this crazy journey and began this blog by asking for your help...and I continue to need it.

It has been about a month since my last post...and my last weigh in (until today).  I can make all the excuses I want about why I didn't go...I had a lot of work to do before leaving for the summer, I wasn't feeling well, etc etc etc.  But, the reality is that I knew I hadn't done well and I didn't want to face the music...in public. 

As I've said before, I have a scale in my apartment and I have gotten much much better about not weighing myself mid-week, but I still usually weigh myself there the morning of weigh-in so I have an idea of what to expect.  The first week I missed I stepped on the scale and realized that I had gained back a couple of pounds...so I "had to work late."  Then the following weeks looked very similar...step on the scale, realized I'd gained more, and made up another excuse not to go.  I, obviously, knew myself that I wasn't doing well (and I have a million excuses for that, too....).  But, there is just something painful about going to the meeting, stepping on the scale, and then seeing the receptionist/leaders face when they tell you that they have you "up a little" and ask if you expected it.  It's like that feeling when you know that you've disappointed someone important to you - they're not mad...just disappointed...and that feels worse.  Now, I know that these women have all been through the same struggles so they, of all people, understand what you're going through and wouldn't judge you for it.  But they get all hush-hush and the look on their face is one of sympathy and it just feels worse than if they'd rip the band-aid off and just straight up tell you...you gained this week, don't be too hard on yourself, it happens...good luck this week.  Well...my scale has not been friendly the last few weeks - I know that that's when I need meetings the most, but I just couldn't bring myself to go...and every week the number on the scale kept creeping up on me.

But, I have run out of excuses now.  I'm done with work, I'm at home with my family, and there's nothing to stop me from working out but myself.  So, I'm working on not just getting back on track, but speeding down that track!  I already started making some better food choices again and I signed up for a summer pass to the local Y.  Yoga with my SIL on Mondays and Wednesdays, Zumba with  Sis on Tuesdays and Thursdays (at least) - and getting in running in there too! 

Initial weight: 257.2
Weeks 67-70: +5.4
Total weight loss: -52
Current weight: 205.2
Hey, at some point during the last month my scale said 208, so I'll take the 5 pounds and be happy...